Spaciousness

At the risk of sounding spacey (pardon the pun), I think one of the pleasures of contemplative practice is a cultivation of a sense of inner space. There’s an old joke, “I try to take one day at a time, but lately two or three or more days have been ganging up on me at once.” The same could be said of our thoughts. Mindfulness involves the discipline of attending to mental activity “one thought at a time.” But sometimes, two or three (or more) thoughts can gang up on us at once, leading to a frenzied sense of inner, existential panic. Omigod, I’ve got to attend to this, and this, and this, and this… and all of it clamors for attention NOW.

Breathe deeply, to enter into contemplative silence. And another deep breath, and another, and another. Blood pressure eases up, the heart slows down a bit. And hopefully, so does the mind. Breathe space in between the traffic jam of our endless stream of thoughts. Let each declaration of the inner observer stand alone, visible within the clear light of consciousness, for discernment and action of appropriate. I’m afraid my boss is angry at me. Breathe. Okay, better set up an appointment with him tomorrow. What if I’m late paying the mortgage? Breathe. Try not to be, but if it happens, remember it’s only money. I’m lousy at this meditation business, why do I bother? Breathe. That’s a normal self-sabotaging kind of thought. Best to ignore it.

And on and on the process goes. Of course, during the actual practice of meditation, all thoughts — positive or negative, useful or mere chatter — can be gently set aside with a simple focus on repeating a prayer word. The important ones will come back later, and can be attended to at that time. But hopefully, meditation gives us the inner space where we can attend to such thoughts slowly, mindfully, attentively. One at a slow, spacious, keep-on-breathing time.