Befriending Silence


Discover the Gifts of the Spirituality of the Trappists and other Cistercians


Befriending Silence celebrates the ancient spirituality of Cistercian and Trappist monks, showing how the gifts of this long-hidden spirituality can bless everyone, even those of us who live “in the world.”

In Befriending Silence: Discovering the Gifts of Cistercian Spirituality respected speaker, author, and Patheos blogger Carl McColman introduces Cistercian spirituality as “the hidden jewel of the Church,” presenting a surprisingly contemporary path grounded in monastic tradition. This accessible and comprehensive guide highlights a unique focus on simplicity, living close to the earth, and contemplative prayer, all of which make Cistercian spirituality relevant today.

Steeped in chant and silence, grounded in down-to-earth work and service, and immersed in the mystical wisdom of teachers ancient (Bernard of Clairvaux) and modern (Thomas Merton), Cistercian spirituality’s beautifully humble path has for centuries made monasteries places of rest, retreat, and renewal. Now, Carl McColman offers the first practical introduction to this ancient method of contemplative spirituality for all people.

McColman draws on his experience as a Lay Cistercian to provide insight into the relevance of the tradition to contemporary issues and spiritual practice. He explains how silence, simplicity, stability, stewardship of the earth, contemplation, ongoing conversion, and devotion to Mary combine to offer a rich and unique path to discipleship and intimacy with God.

  • The first practical guide to Cistercian spirituality, the book provides an understanding of the spiritual path that informed Thomas Merton, Thomas Keating, and Bernard of Clairvaux.
  • Written by a leading guide to contemplative spirituality. Carl McColman is the author of The Big Book of Christian Mysticism, a survey of contemplative spirituality.

For Befriending Silence, Carl McColman received the “Georgia Author of the Year Award” for the best Inspirational/Religious book published in 2015 by a Georgia author!

Other ways to purchase Befriending Silence:
Paperback: Amazon • Barnes & Noble • 
Independent Bookstore (Online or Near You)
Ebook: Kindle • Nook • Kobo • VerbumLogos

Praise for Befriending Silence:

“Drawing on his personal experience and expansive knowledge, Carl McColman skillfully presents readers with an accessible introduction to the beauty of Cistercian spirituality. As the Rule of Benedict instructs, readers will be inspired to “listen carefully” to the wisdom of a tradition that continues to speak powerfully to women and men. Not only does Befriending Silence guide us in the gifts of Cistercian spirituality, but it’s also a tremendous gift to all spiritual seekers!”
Rev. Daniel P. Horan, O.F.M., author of The Franciscan Heart of Thomas Merton

Befriending Silence is useful and stimulating to anyone who wishes to profit from the substantial wisdom of the Cistercian tradition.”
Michael Casey, O.C.S.O., Cistercian monk and author of Seventy Four Tools for Good Living

“Carl McColman gives us a gentle, conversational, and humbly persuasive presentation of the spiritual benefits (and joys) of vowed and disciplined association with monastic life and practice for Christian lay folk. Himself a lay Cistercian, McColman speaks with quiet assurance about our human need to be ever more mindful of, and intentional about, our ‘God-hunger’ and the holy yearning from which it comes. In doing so, he has added a practical as well as an informing volume to the literature of faith.”
Phyllis Tickle, author of The Great Emergence

Befriending Silence manifests in a wonderful way the Cistercian charism which today is shared by lay Cistercians and also guides mature seekers.”
Br. Patrick Hart, O.C.S.O., Cistercian monk and former secretary of Thomas Merton

“Befriending Silence is a great gift to all who hunger for meaning, mystery, peace, hope, and God. It takes wisdom from an important contemplative tradition and offers it to all. It is beautifully and humbly written—a joy on many levels.”
Brian D. McLaren, author of We Make the Road by Walking

To read a sample chapter, click here.

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